The Taboo of Goal-Setting

There’s something to hate about picking up a self-motivation book and finding that half of it’s based on goal-setting. Like, suddenly, I’m expected to do work outside of the book and not just absorb what it has to say in one sitting. Maybe that’s the problem with reading for information — it’s literally just absorbing info. No bookworm suddenly wants to commit to a book as devotedly as to start doing productive, task-worthy things outside of it. You know, the ones that give you a weekly planner and tell you to achieve a goal by the end of the week? 

You don’t want to be setting tiny barely-passed-the-starting-line goals when the reason you picked up the book was to completely one-up yourself. It’s like those become-a-better-person books: I pick one of those up to learn new life mottos, to figure out how to deal with difficult people — maybe learn some cool, quick breathing tips. You know? But then they tell you to set small goals for the day like ‘smile at everyone you meet’ or ‘make someone happy’. And, just like that, the book is tossed to the corner of the room and never picked up again. I have no regrets.

Who has time for that? So much for a life-changing perspective. Thanks, Dr. Susan with two PhDs, you’ve really changed my life by loading half your book with fill-in-the-blanks goal pages. ‘Really different stuff.

I like to cut corners. I skim books. I actively seek TV show spoilers on the internet. I get bored of colour-in books because all I want is to reach the end-product. I absolutely detest taking the long way around. I’m all about efficiency, even if there is some collateral damage spilling out the sides. So, when someone tells me to just start small — how dare you. How dare you suggest the world can’t change in one day.

The thing about goal-setting is that it's given themselves a bad reputation — or, maybe, the way we think about it has. It’s basically how we think about all small world problems. Someone with acne should just wash their face. A person with depression should smile more. Naturally, we like taking shortcuts around things, regardless of how effective they are. We don’t think goal setting is all that effective when sometimes all it recommends is that someone who is depressed just tries to get out of bed for the day — HOW DARE the results not be immediate. Goal setting suggests we cannot instantly arrive at an overall desired end product but, rather, walk slowly there and hope we’re heading in the right direction. We're not superheros after all.

Maybe it’s the fact that I skim read, but I never thought the idea of setting goals was played out right in these books. Too often all they sound like are meaningless little quests that likely build towards nothing. Just as with eating healthier, people suggest things like cutting down takeout by one night every few weeks or switching it up for one less teaspoon of sugar in your coffee. To me that sounds like utter rubbish. Why bother setting tiny goals like this when you could be back to your old ways straight up. I just never seem to find an explanation as to why teensy eensy goal setting is so effective.

It is for this reason I want to give a shout out to goal-setting, from my own personal perspective…

• ·       Either toy with the lighter or burn the house down.

Ultimately, it depends on the person. For me, as someone who previously could barely stomach anything but junk food, the ‘burn down the house’ method was the way to go. I banned myself from McDonalds and HJs for a year and, following the ‘burn the house down’ method, I found myself actively wanting to set add-on goals. This goal has been developing since with such add-ons as —  also no takeout at all —  and go to the gym five days a week —  and drop that bread! 

•      Try to remember it’s not just one goal.

Goal-setting looks stupid because, most of the time, it starts with a small, not-that-effective aim. But, like human nature, once we achieve one thing, we’re hungry for more. Goal-setting is a total pat on the back, and, while stupid goals might only be achieved at first, a noticeable change from where you were at the start can soon be seen.

Left: October. Right: November. Intense tensing of the tummy in both photos.

•      Make goals you will commit to.

Luckily for me, I’m the most socially awkward person I know. So telling everyone I’m going to swear off burgers for a year is a pretty useful way to prevent me from backing out of it. It’s best to make goals you can actually see yourself achieving. And, at first, it’s important to set weekly goals so that you don’t accidentally give yourself an unrealistic time frame like ‘give me five years, and I’ll get healthy again’. Goals disappear when you don’t see immediate results. Weekly goals set you up more for success, even if it’s a dumb one.

Example of dumb goal: drink skinny coffee instead of normal coffee.
It costs like 40 bucks extra, but damn that skinniness tho'. 

•      Don’t, for the love of God, compare your goals to someone else’s.

Image Credit: Owlturd Comix

Nothing's worse than getting all excited that you're a few goals down, and then looking over and seeing someone who's already reached the end product. Rather than let this in the way of your determination, see this as a motivator.